I Gave My Mum Colon Polyps

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Yeah, that’s what I do to the women I like. Imagine what I’d do too those I don’t.

I found early in my career as a tumour inducer that all I had to do was concentrate very, very hard and I could manipulate human physical tissue. Ask my mum. She sent me too bed without any din-dins one night and she’s been paying for it ever since with malignant growths.

I gave Kylie Minogue tit cancer just by staring at the TV and crossing my eyes. So beware. I intend on staring at this monitor, pupils askew, until the entire population of Wales congeals into a massive, tumorous blob.

Then you’ll be sorry. Oh yes.

Why, oh WHY won’t you all just leave me ALONE?!!!

I come here EVERY DAY to this little hate site where I was never invited, and everyone tells me to just go away, and everyone keeps posting that my posts make no sense. I tell you all that it is ENTIRELY acceptable to go to someone’s house, place of work, hide behind the front seat in their car, take the same bus as them (even though the commute to that bus takes over 4 hours and is in the wrong way from where you are going)- IF you REALLY, TRULY WANT THEM TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU. This is all very simple in my head. Why can no one else understand? WHY? WHY? WHY? And why must you all make posts to my posts when I want you to all STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME?!!!

If I do not comment on your posts today it is because I am delivering some old cookies I found in my cupboard to Squeams. She likes these cookies, so I don’t want to just throw them out with all the starving people in the world. A cookie saved is worth 8 hours of driving to someone’s house, and place of work. She must not be getting my emails, telegrams, billboards I have posted (those are really expensive, you know), answering her phone, going to her mother’s house, visiting any of her friends, dining out in any of the places we ever went, or going to work. She REFUSES to respond from any of these places.

And all I want to do is give her her cookies, and remind her to STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!

The enemy of my bile spewing enemy is my frenemy

Mary wont give me the email address of her father.  I know she has it at hand since shes been meaning to write him back every day for the past 8 years.  They may insist it sounds crazy for me to send unsolicited messages too the estranged father of a person I barely know on the internet, but this man is like me.  The world is filled with bile spewing liars and they’re all out too get me.  If they are also all out too get him to than he must be on the same side as me.

Like I always say, keep your friends close, then push them away, keep your enemies closer, like say the distance between a balustrade and a window, and keep your enemies fathers even closer.  I always say that.

Give me his email address Mary!

Meg

Barbie didn’t turn out to be a worthwhile target because he turned out to be male WTF. He told the bile spewers that my last name is Dowell, that made me sad but I don’t stalk men. Fuck men. They’re never scared of me, I think Squeamous is a man because she isn’t scared of me but she should be because I write stuff on the internets about machetes. That bitch didn’t even reply when I told her never too contact me again. I wish she was scared of me.

They slipped up though because now I know megabyeme’s real name, That’s right, faithful friends, the time for words is over. Fuck that bitch and the hate she spews. I’m going to slice and dice and escalate her face.

Stop banning people that are not me

Manker you powermaniac those people you are banning are not me.  Also, stop removing my posts when I tell you it’s me and I’m not hiding.  It’s no fair, I called timeout and I’m not playing anymore.

I’m glad you’ve finally seen your mate/my mate for what he is: a nasty, pathetic little man who only lets you post what he/common decency dictates is acceptable and won’t let you throw shit all over whoever you want, whether you want to or not. But if you refuse to let him chuck and more bile and shit at you he’ll just hate you, and I know why he wants to hate you, I know why he wants to hate you. I know why he wants to hate you. Because hate is all the world has ever seen lately.

-limp impetus