I Gave My Mum Colon Polyps


Yeah, that’s what I do to the women I like. Imagine what I’d do too those I don’t.

I found early in my career as a tumour inducer that all I had to do was concentrate very, very hard and I could manipulate human physical tissue. Ask my mum. She sent me too bed without any din-dins one night and she’s been paying for it ever since with malignant growths.

I gave Kylie Minogue tit cancer just by staring at the TV and crossing my eyes. So beware. I intend on staring at this monitor, pupils askew, until the entire population of Wales congeals into a massive, tumorous blob.

Then you’ll be sorry. Oh yes.

97 thoughts on “I Gave My Mum Colon Polyps

  1. Thought I had a near brush with death. Looked down in my recliner last night, and saw this strang lump. For a moment, I thought Dave’s cancer ray was off by 6 inches. Turns out it was just a fallen kernel of popcorn. :whew:

  2. http://filesharingtalk.com/threads/448803-People-on-this-board-need-to-be-more-tolerant-toward-the-people-who-are-different/page24?p=3680239&viewfull=1#post3680239

    “benign tumours” = Not anymore.

    “Dave, who started stalking a few of the members here” = In reciprocation for you all pwning me. Odd how you don’t like that.

    “He got banned for the aforementioned stalking and general cuntery” = Aaawww!!! :console:
    Odd how come you don’t like me being a cunt towards you, in response to you all being cunts towards me.

    You’re a fucking mental case, manker. But I love you.

    • Who told you my name? Someone’s betraying my trust on the internet. Someone, somewhere is filling an inbox with one tiny little lie to spread like wildfire among the bile spewing hatemongers.

      No, Steve it isn’t.

  3. Which one of the following do you fancy manker?
    http://stephengreenscamartists.co.uk/ <- I thought we could do a site about how you charge clients for your time, whilst spending it spewing venomous bile at people on the internet. What do you think?

    http://stephengreenaccountantssuck.co.uk/ <- In this one we could cover how you don't respect your staff, or clients, posting personal comments about them on the internet whilst you're meant to be working. What do you think?

    I'm still playing with a couple of other ideas for you, but what about one of them? Would one of them work for you?

    I once sucked a horse dick B=============D this big…

    • I thought we could recommend Susan or Janet as being a better choice for anyone looking for an accountant in or around the Risca area. I’m sure they’d appreciate the business.

  4. Dave’s thought process is fascinating.

    manker once went to a pub in risca > he works in risca > I can choose one of the ten accountancy firms in risca and it will be the right one > post it on the internets > everyone will now think I have testicles.

    • Dave will never do anything except more of the same of what he has been doing. Which is tantamount to nothing.

      I know this as he won’t risk his wife and kids finding out what he does on the internets in the night. All he can do is talk about doing things, but he can never do anything at all.

      Completely benign. Impotent.

      • So much for not doing anything, I’ve already handed your female friend over to being “dealt with by karma”. I’m assuming animal rights activitists believe in karma.

        You didn’t mention which of those domain names you preferred manker. I’ve got some unused domain name credits, so I can get which everone you’d prefer.

        Do feel free to come and tell my wife and children that I’m spending time shitting all over scum internet bullies like you, won’t you.

        @ Mary, there are only three accountancy firms in Risca (it is only a small town) Janet and Susan run the other two.

        • ‘@ Mary’ 😆
          You’re an idiot, honest to god.

          Have you ever been to a pub in a town where you don’t happen to work.
          The guesstimate of ten is closer to the truth than your assertion of three, btw.

          Dave, it’s of little moment to me which domain name you use to tell people how manker is mean to you between the hours of 9 and 5 on any given week day. But if you must have direction, choose the first one you thought of.

          But this is moot. Everyone knows you won’t do it – and you’re equally aware of your benign status.

          • Then go with that one.

            What’s stopping you apart from your lack of testicles.

          • That you needed me to give you direction.

            Speaking as a chartered accountant, if someone were to tell me that there was a website with my company’s name in it followed by ‘sucks’, I’d think I’d inadvertently offended an eleven year old.

            Dave, there is no writing on the page. What’s wrong. Too scared to post anything.

          • That’s right, you personalised this hate thing you’ve all been playing at, and I’m now following in your footsteps. Following your direction. Playing by your rules, the ones about how nothing done or said on the internet matters, how we are all entitled to behave like disgusting pieces of shit towards others out here.

            So you’re right, it’s your direction, and your rules. Odd how you banned me for doing exactly what you do, innit? Anyone would think you’re a hypocrite. That’s a cap which fits well on you manker. Banning someone for behaving exactly as you do. Revising the sequence of events so that it fits the thoughts that float around inside your warped little twisted sick mind. Removing any posts which challenge your twisted version of events.

            Just because their isn’t any writing there yet, doesn’t mean their won’t be.

            Looks like your female friend was right, I can be unpleasant. Very nearly as unpleasant as you. She really threw you lot into the fire with that little PM of hers. She always knew I wasn’t the kind of bloke who cowered away from scum like you.

          • More benign, impotent and inadequate ramblings, Dave?

            I think my point has been made.
            Have fun never doing anything except wishing you could. I’m off to post some pish on fst.

          • Yeah, I did that once. Posting pish on FST. Then your vicous little female bitch friend sent that PM.

          • Given how inadequate I am, how about you and I meet manker? For real, you know face to face.

          • Sure.

            I’m in the process of buying a new car and I know you don’t really need to run them in these days, it might even be something that my dad made up, but I always like to go for a long drive whenever I buy myself one.

            Leave your address below and I’ll swing by.

        • Cribbs Causeway would seem like a good place to meet manker. Nice and easy for you to find. Name the day and time?

          • A public place? Are you afraid of getting physically raped to go with the wordular version you get treated to each time we converse.

            No. You want to meet me, I’m indifferent as to whether it happens or not.
            I’ll come to your house where you can make me coffee.

          • I gave you a place which wasn’t neutral. Which was in your environment – and you said no, that you wanted to meet in a public place.

            Yet I chickened out.
            You’re funny today, Dave. Bash your keyboard some more.

          • That disingenious shit doesn’t work with me manker, or with anyone else who has a pair of eyes.

            You asked for my personal address, because you knew I would never give it to you. You have after all repeatedly misused my personal infomation over and over again. So you knew I wouldn’t give you my address.

            I on the other hand never asked for any personal information from you. I was quite happy to make it on neutral ground, and on public neutral ground at that, so you could feel safe, but you chickened out.

            You’re a real life testament to the cowardice of bullies.

          • Oh and I did like the one about how I’m the one who is frightened of getting raped, when it’s me who you banned because I was verbally raping the arse off of you all, all over FST.

          • Thanks for pushing the keys. And for not disappointing when I engineered it so that ‘my’ address was back on the blog.

            When I have other tasks for you, I shall inform you directly.

      • I should just take this opportunity to point out how conformist you are. Conforming to the standard idiotic thinking of all bullies, that you can intimidate everyone and anyone. I am sorry to disappoint you manker, but sooner or later that idiocy was going to fail.

        Now why don’t you tell me again about how nothing said on the internet is of any consequence? Or how about that standard bully fare about how you are entitled to behave like a cunt, whilst you insist that I am not entitled to behave in the same way. Or you could always tell me again about how ‘unlikeable’ I am, whilst behaving like a cunt towards me. I did find that one so amusing.

        • More benign, impotent and inadequate ramblings, Dave?

          You’ll never do anything just like you’ll never have sex with your wife again 😦

  5. I’ve been doing a lot of that recently… laughing. As I imagine the demise of your bitch friend. You should see the scenarios that have floated through my mind manker. I do hope they do something creative to her.

    • Oooo so Mary has learnt some more about wordpress then, granting you each accounts with which you can modify the content of this lovely little hate site.

      • So you are admitting that you posted information regarding Squeams with intent for people to do her harm. Nice one, Dave!

        There goes the house. The car. The kids’ college fund.

        Poor Dave. Really poor Dave.

        So “surprised” to learn you put your anger ahead of your family, Dave. Sure the wife will LOVE to learn of this, too…

      • Oh no, a destestable piece of scum has made gone out of their way to attract detestable pieces of scum to someone they want hurt…

        • WOW, talk about paranoid wankers. There you are personalising your little hate campaign against me with the use of my real name, and you’re all paranoid enough to block my use of your real names. How fucking interesting, how very revealing, what a bunch of complete cowards.

          You’re far too late to protect her, you could never protect her from me. You forget I knew her in real life. You fucking idiots.

  6. Doing some quick math here…

    Dave acts like an 11 year old. He’s been stalking her for 2 years. They were having their affair for 5 years.

    I’m beginning to think Squeams was seeing a 4 year old when they first got together. :O

    Say it isn’t so, Squeams. :no:

          • OMG, what am I too do, Dave?

            Do you think I would seek out such good care for my son if there was ANY kind of “burden”? You DO get that taking him to those appointments takes effort, right? We don’t have to do any of it.

            We WANTED/WANT him to have that care, you fuckwit.

            You are the stupidest person I’ve ever come across, Dave Dowell.

          • I’ve never doubted you will live upto what your wife requires of you MBM. It doesn’t stop what you feel though does it? You know about how you produced a retard. It must be hard that, knowing that your seed is corrupt, that it produces damaged children.

            It’s good news for the rest of us though, a living example of Darwinism at work. The species continues stronger for having eliminated your genetic strain.

          • Down’s isn’t genetic, it’s chromosomal. Fail again, Failboi. While we’re on the subject, were your parents fucksticks, or were you a mutation?

            Do keep trying, Dave. You are making it incredibly easy to make you look stupid today.

          • Fucking hell MBM!!111

            “Down’s isn’t genetic, it’s chromosomal”

            And you claim to be a scientist?

          • Actually I’m finding all of this quite reassuring, at least from the perspective of the future of the human race.
            There’s Squeamous who shat all over the only bloke she’s evert found who she thought might be someone she could have kids with, so no kids there.
            There’s you whos genetic line is destined to die out with your retarded son.
            There’s chavis, yet another member whos own DNA is so fucked he managed to produce a damaged child.
            manker is destined to screw his kid up, just because he has manker as his father.
            I’m betting Marys kids will disown him once they come to recognise he’s just like his old man.

            You couldn’t make this shit up 😆

          • Every one of these kids have an intellectual edge on you, Dave. Even my sperm could outwit you. Not just mine, and not just semen, you can try as hard as you might, but you’ll just end up with egg on your face.

          • Protip; Read it again when you’re sober.

            When you read it youll understand I actually have a difficult time with grammar so stop picking on me for it.

          • Don’t forget, Dave, I’m killing your kids when they turn 18. :glag:

            You do realize what twins means, right? :unsure:

            The old saying about a stopped clock telling the correct time twice a day does not take into account a speshal case such as yourself who can’t seem to meet with that level of accuracy.

          • Pop Quiz (just for fun):
            5 years ago which of the following things would Squeamous have done if she found out she was pregnant with Dave’s child:
            1) Be so happy she fell over and passed out with joy. Wake up, begin to pen her billboard campaign announcing the happy news to the world, pass out with delirious joy again. Eventually learn to stay upright and conscious only by thinking constantly about AIDS babies in Africa.
            2) Immediately fear this would provide Dave with the perfect excuse to leave his wife whereupon she would become ‘Dave’s wife now, Dave’.
            3) Spontaneously abort.
            4) Give birth, then place the baby in a wicker basket and sail it into the Gotham City sewer system, where it would be rescued by penguins and raised by them until such a time as it could rejoin humanity and become Mayor.
            5) Rotivate that thing out with a coat hanger.
            6) Take heart from the fact that the father had stated he couldn’t be happier that such a thing had happened, but listen to the internal voices ringing in her mind and ensure that by taking a couple of pills in the first month of gestation, the foetus could be flushed quietly down a drain, thus preventing herself fucking up the life of another human being as well as her own.

          • Do me a favour MBM, watch out for your other kid. Children can be such little bastards, and some of them will undoubtedly try to use his/her brother as something to bully him/her about. Keep a watchful eye out for that.

          • 😆

            I’m going with option two because it made me glag. Followed by option five and then the implied option seven where he blames me for everything and swears vengeance.

          • Sorry manker,
            Option 2 was a no, no, as we’d discussed that both our experiences of marriage had made us both decide we would never marry again. So she knew she couldn’t ever be my wife.

            Remember me telling you in the reporting section about that repeating of the “shutters coming down” stuff was starting to frighten me… well see that option 2… that makes me think back to all the times she played around with calling herself S*ueamous Dowell :fear:

            That’s very revealing reading. I can see why you won’t challenge the things I say now, or even attempt to engage in any direct discussion about anything which went on.

            As that attempt to take on something I posted shows, either:
            1) It proves you were lying to my face for the entire five years, thus proving my claims.
            2) It shows you up as the bitter and twisted scorned woman, spewing forth malice and bile such as that.

            Which way would you like everyone to read it?

            You’ve kind of fucked yourself over completely with all of this, haven’t you?

          • I see the vindictive bitch has yet again failed to come and respond to my post about her malice and bile, Mary. That’s why I am going to kill her.

        • I think this speaks to Dave’s character far more than even the stalking. I’m referring to how your son, shy of 3 and with Down’s syndrome, is able to embarrass Dave without even trying. That’s a new low, if one wasn’t so delirious, realizing this fact could push a man to suicide.

  7. As penpusher said manker, I will find you. More than a year in and I am not going to let this go. I did tell you (more than once) not to personalise it. I did tell you I wouldn’t be letting it go.

    • New topic time Mary, I’ve had enough of trying to work out who said what where on this one. Come on site owner, maintain your site.

    • Yes I see that Mary, I also understand why you’ve basically blocked me, Squeams posted here, and you cowards can’t possibly let me reply to her, can you.

      I think you scum have made your position clear, I won’t be bothering with this site anymore. I shall confine the continuing hatred to MBMs forceddad site. Where scum like you don’t get to control what can and can’t be said because you can’t hack being treated as you have treated me.

      • Like I already told you, Dave, WP started picking up all of your posts as spam, I had to go in and individually pull them all out and approve them. You should be able to avoid this in the future if you avoid making your posts look like a spambot. Feel free to continue playing.

      • Spend as much time as you want, Dave. I won’t be bothering with reading it.

        I doubt you’ll have much of an audience with the topic you’ve chosen. In contrast, people come here to laugh at you, Dave. They laugh at you because you are a Jokeboi.

        You decided to target my son because he is the only individual you feel brave enough to attack. You little, weak, pathetic excuse of a man, you.

        Quit attacking my son, and go hug your own. Both will make for nice changes. 🙂

  8. So you set up a hate site and then block the victim of your nasty comments posting. You’re as mental as manker, Mary. Just another knob who can’t take what he dishes out.

    • I bet she loved the site I’ve created for you as well, had a real laugh about that, didn’t she?

      OR have you not had the courage to tell her about how there’s some bloke spewing forth hateful shit against you and your kids, just like you did towards him and his kids.

      Shame on you MBM. Have the courage of your convictions and tell her.

        • Here you go MBM, I’ll break another fallacy for you.

          See this shite she fed you yesterday:
          “I always recognised it, but it was always related to other people and was infrequent enough to allow me to time to recharge batteries between bouts of mentalism”

          This is a statement made by a woman who over the five years during which she saw me often commented about “how she couldn’t believe how laid back I was”, and that she wanted her future husband to be “laid back like me”. Do feel free to go and confirm that with her.
          You really shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet MBM, I hear some people lie on it, and quite a bit of it isn’t true.

          I have to admit I have been amused by you all going on about me ‘mashing keyboards’ though. I’m not going to take the cheap shot about how it’s very easy to make you believe whatever I want because you’re all so thick. I don’t actually think any of you are thick, you’re all just gullible, and I’m the last person who can fault anyone for that flaw.

          • Newsflash for you, Dave:

            Nobody REALLY gives a fuck if she’s lying about you, or not. Nobody.

            People like Squeams because she’s fun in our forum. There is also the looming mystery of if she may or may not have tits, and she occasionally mentions her cervix and stuff.

            People laugh at you because you are our little Jokeboi bitch.

            None of this will change.

          • :meh: You seem to be mistaking me with someone who gives a fuck. Whereas I’m quite happy for you to have the deliberately malicious piece of shit as a friend. Good luck with that.

          • Oh and MBM.

            When I call you unoriginal, it’s pointless stuff like this “Jokeboi” that you’ve now been chanting at me for ages, and which I’ve never once responded to which is unoriginal. Boring as fuck and unoriginal.

            Whoever this “Jokeboi” is, he isn’t me MBM, he never was. Don’t you let that stop you repeating yourself over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, ad infinitum…. 🙄

          • Actually MBM, I was wrong, there is a “Jokeboi” in all of this. It’s you.

            You sit out there pouring out your comments believing that you’re getting to me, when in reality all you’ve done is shown yourself up as a worthless human being.

            You call her deliberately malicious lies “fun”, yet don’t find any of the lies I have told “fun”. You sit there defending someone who you don’t know, swallowing her every lie, like the dumb fuck that you are.

            Watching her pat you on the head like the good little attack puppy you have tried so hard to be for her, has been hilarious. Fanks for the laffs Jokeboi.

          • Oh! And you do realise you are never going to see her tits don’t you?

            She isn’t going to post them, and I’m most certainly not going to. So you’re fucked on that front as well.

          • [quote=Jokeboi Dave] Nothing you’ve ever said about me has EVAR bothered me. [NEXT 2 pages of frantic, mindless, butthurt blather later]…and I don’t love Squeams, either![/quote]

            Thanks for straightening that out. :blink:

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