Hey Guise, I Bet Dave STILL Checks This Site

Wat a freakin’ mentalist.

If I can’t be heard, do I exist? If I’m forgotten, did I ever exist?

I looked at my son today, and I knew that if there was even the slightest chance I wouldn’t be around too make him hate me just like Mary hates his dad, I would have to grab the horse by the cock and carry on stimulating bile and sputum about myself. What if I fade away like in Back To The Future; my hand gradually thinning too the point I could see my keyboard through it, and could no longer use my vanishing vocal chords to tell my kids to go away and come back later when daddy isn’t so busy pwning people on the internet. I had too come back. You can’t forget me. You’ll never forget me.

I did it, I got them!

I have used my stealthy h4x0r skillz to take down FST.  Some sysop will say it was something else because they could never admit too how badly I pwned there precious little site.

Dave 451 FST 0

I Gave My Mum Colon Polyps

Yeah, that’s what I do to the women I like. Imagine what I’d do too those I don’t.

I found early in my career as a tumour inducer that all I had to do was concentrate very, very hard and I could manipulate human physical tissue. Ask my mum. She sent me too bed without any din-dins one night and she’s been paying for it ever since with malignant growths.

I gave Kylie Minogue tit cancer just by staring at the TV and crossing my eyes. So beware. I intend on staring at this monitor, pupils askew, until the entire population of Wales congeals into a massive, tumorous blob.

Then you’ll be sorry. Oh yes.

Dave’s Ecru Rule

What you think others did to you, do that to them.

Why, oh WHY won’t you all just leave me ALONE?!!!

I come here EVERY DAY to this little hate site where I was never invited, and everyone tells me to just go away, and everyone keeps posting that my posts make no sense. I tell you all that it is ENTIRELY acceptable to go to someone’s house, place of work, hide behind the front seat in their car, take the same bus as them (even though the commute to that bus takes over 4 hours and is in the wrong way from where you are going)- IF you REALLY, TRULY WANT THEM TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU. This is all very simple in my head. Why can no one else understand? WHY? WHY? WHY? And why must you all make posts to my posts when I want you to all STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME?!!!

If I do not comment on your posts today it is because I am delivering some old cookies I found in my cupboard to Squeams. She likes these cookies, so I don’t want to just throw them out with all the starving people in the world. A cookie saved is worth 8 hours of driving to someone’s house, and place of work. She must not be getting my emails, telegrams, billboards I have posted (those are really expensive, you know), answering her phone, going to her mother’s house, visiting any of her friends, dining out in any of the places we ever went, or going to work. She REFUSES to respond from any of these places.

And all I want to do is give her her cookies, and remind her to STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!

The enemy of my bile spewing enemy is my frenemy

Mary wont give me the email address of her father.  I know she has it at hand since shes been meaning to write him back every day for the past 8 years.  They may insist it sounds crazy for me to send unsolicited messages too the estranged father of a person I barely know on the internet, but this man is like me.  The world is filled with bile spewing liars and they’re all out too get me.  If they are also all out too get him to than he must be on the same side as me.

Like I always say, keep your friends close, then push them away, keep your enemies closer, like say the distance between a balustrade and a window, and keep your enemies fathers even closer.  I always say that.

Give me his email address Mary!

Bullies.

Goodbye cruel world,
I’m leaving you today.
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye.

Goodbye, all you people,
There’s nothing you can say
To make me change my mind.
Goodbye.

That’s it. Final, final, final, straw. I mean it this time. Really.

You are all scum and I’ve had enough. I have been using my super, duper, mad geek skilz, and have placed some of you on mailing lists. Be prepared for junk mail to begin flooding in any month now. Well, hate groups don’t really send out catalogs, but occasionally may request donations like twice a year. Be warned! It may actually take up to 6 weeks to get removed from their mailing list, so you may receive an additional mailing EVEN after contacting them.

I may unleash other diabolical schemes in your directions like having pizzas delivered to your house, and you will face the awkward moment of having to tell the delivery driver you did not order.

I may even sign some of you up for “The Panty of the Month” club and you will have to not only tell your wives you didn’t order, but have to pay return postage.

I have been warning you all, NOW FACE MY FULL ON WRATH!!!

Meg

Barbie didn’t turn out to be a worthwhile target because he turned out to be male WTF. He told the bile spewers that my last name is Dowell, that made me sad but I don’t stalk men. Fuck men. They’re never scared of me, I think Squeamous is a man because she isn’t scared of me but she should be because I write stuff on the internets about machetes. That bitch didn’t even reply when I told her never too contact me again. I wish she was scared of me.

They slipped up though because now I know megabyeme’s real name, That’s right, faithful friends, the time for words is over. Fuck that bitch and the hate she spews. I’m going to slice and dice and escalate her face.